Today's problem: BOBFOC

I've been cycling to work a bit lately, and the slower pace makes you notice the surroundings a bit more. I also go through a popular jogging area (The Iron Cove Bridge), and let me tell you something; Sydney has a BOBFOC problem.

For those of you unfamilar, BOBFOC is an acronym which stands for

Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

Side note: for those who don't know, Crimewatch is a TV programme in the UK during which timid viewers are terrified by reconstructions of unsolved crimes, usually with stereotypical villains and vulnerable, plain women out walking alone. You know what Baywatch is, though. Don't pretend otherwise.

The slower pace of cycling, in BOBFOC terms, allows for mental dialogues rather like this, as I trundle along at sub-40kph rates:

100m distant: "hmmm.. Elle MacPherson"
10m distant: "aaaaargh! L Ron Hubbard!!"

100m: "hmmm... Chistie Brinkley"
10m "aaaargh! Christy Brown!!"

110m: "hmmm.. Shannon Elizabeth"
10m: "aaargh! Shannon Noll!!"

So I hereby call, in the name of me not falling off my bike when blinded by ugly rays, for a moratorium on munters taking fitness programs. Please, stay at home, eat chips and watch Eddie Maguire, it's for the good of society.

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