Things You Can't Say In Victoria

My little gift to the Victorian Government. If they were to fine me per "offensive word", this little ditty would net them $3900. But they can get fucked.

Original idea by Dave The Happy Singer, for which I'm eternally grateful. Music, lyrics, production and all that nonsense by me.

You are free, I say, free, to cover this song anywhere you like, as long as you let me know you've done it and, if possible, provide a link to a recording.

G   
Ya can't say goddamn in Glenrowan
   C                          D7
In wodonga don't say the word "wank"
G                             Em
You can't play Tim Minchin in Tullamarine
         A                          D
and you can't say jack shit on Southbank

G
Saying "shite" in the shires is dodgy
C                         D7
and titfuck is way out of line
G                               Em
They don't do dick jokes in the dandenongs these days
          A           D            G
Cause the politicians ain't got no spine

SOLO

G, G7, 
C, D7, D, D7
G, E
Am, A, D

G, G7
C, D7, D, D7
G, E
A, D, G



G
Don't ever say "fuck it" in Fitzroy
    C                          D7
In Carlton, don't use the word "cock"
G                                 Em
And if you ever say "Bollocks" in Broadmeadows South
A                             D
You'll end up in cuffs in the dock.

G
You can't quote George Carlin in Croydon
C                       D7
Not even as a publicity stunt
G                             Em
Don't ever say twat, prick or frig in St Kilda
       A            D        G
And in Coburg don't ever say Cunt.

I'll be in Melbourne on the 20th and 21st of June, the 20th to speak to Victorian Skeptics in the cafe (La Notte, Lygon Street) and to do a gig/live podcast thingy with Dave The Happy Singer at the Clyde in Carlton (where you can't say cock) on the 21st. Full details to follow shortly, but be there or be square. And don't bring your pollies.

By the way, a video of the above track should follow, with an updated version to be filmed in Melbourne when I get there.

posted @ Sunday, June 5, 2011 9:15 PM

 
 
 

Comments on this entry:

# re: Things You Can't Say In Victoria

Left by Shelley at 6/5/2011 10:53 PM
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Fucking clever fucking funny bastard.

# re: Things You Can't Say In Victoria

Left by Maureen & Ron Chuck at 6/5/2011 11:00 PM
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Fuck you, cunt. Thank Harry I live In NSW

# re: Things You Can't Say In Victoria

Left by Peter Bowditch at 6/6/2011 12:08 AM
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That's the most offensive fucking piece of shit I've seen all week. I hope the Victorian cops raid the Cock & Balls at Carlton or wherever it is you will be spewing this filth in Victoria and give you a good kick in the arse.

Wanker!!

# re: Things You Can't Say In Victoria

Left by trent at 6/6/2011 12:16 PM
Gravatar
very funny mate, see ya later on in the month, BTW the leg is healing well, hope you've kept up with the photo doco on fb

# re: Things You Can't Say In Victoria

Left by Jason at 6/6/2011 12:26 PM
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Epic comments are epic

# re: Things You Can't Say In Victoria

Left by Martin Pribble at 6/6/2011 3:40 PM
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I say "cunt" in Coburg at least once a day... That's where I live :D

# re: Things You Can't Say In Victoria

Left by d at 6/20/2011 8:40 PM
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hi when are u in melb?

# re: Things You Can't Say In Victoria

Left by Jason at 6/21/2011 2:16 PM
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Right now. Gigging at the clyde tonight, tues 21 june.
Comments have been closed on this topic.
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