Good morning owner! Thanks for feeding me and petting me. Here's a present.....

.... It's a RAT!! Isn't it great? Look how its head is almost hanging off! See how I efficiently broke its neck and carried it way up here from where I found it, onto the kitchen roof, up into the upstairs window and onto your bedroom floor, lovingly tucking it under the bed where you had to hunt it down, just like an easter egg! And look at the size! Hefty one, isn't it? Aren't I a Good Cat? Don't I deserve a treat? Praise me and my hunting expertise, which is second to none in this neighbourhood, let me tell you.

Wait! What are you doing?!?! Are you mad? That Rat was caught with love you bastard! What? Not the bin! Meow! Meow! Fucking MEOW! What? And now you're refusing to feed me and calling me a bad cat? I, who selflessly brought you a perfectly good rodent, with barely a scratch on it?

Bloody humans. Never appreciate a bloody thing you do for 'em, do they? Cunts.

posted by Heisenberg, 6 Oct 2006

posted @ Friday, October 6, 2006 10:53 AM

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