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Signs the world has gone utterly bugfuck insane, #1,462,356

On walking to the pub I just saw an adshel poster advertising.... well.... see for yourself.

 

Yes, professional chewing gum. Which implies the existence not only of professional chewers, but of a sufficient population of professional chewers to support a whole brand.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're fucked.

posted @ Wednesday, June 8, 2011 1:37 PM

 
 
 

Comments on this entry:

# re: Signs the world has gone utterly bugfuck insane, #1,462,356

Left by Paul at 6/8/2011 1:57 PM
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But.... MICROGRANULES!

# re: Signs the world has gone utterly bugfuck insane, #1,462,356

Left by Andrew Mitchell at 6/8/2011 2:07 PM
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Reminds me of Douglas Adams' work (So Long and Thanks for All the Fish?) where a character decides he's the only sane person on the planet after reading instructions on a pack of toothpicks.

# re: Signs the world has gone utterly bugfuck insane, #1,462,356

Left by Arik at 6/8/2011 2:15 PM
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Admit it. If you're a professional you will not be caught with short pants going to a customer. Nor would you be caught with a T shirt. Or non-professional gum. It's part of your image.

-- Arik

# re: Signs the world has gone utterly bugfuck insane, #1,462,356

Left by Bearly There at 6/8/2011 2:38 PM
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Personally I find this advertisement offensive. PRO-fessional obviously implies that the gum is intended for sex workers. How am I to explain this to my children when they ask me about it?

This ad's clear intent is the pre-sexualisation of children.

Let's write up a standard letter and have 30 people send it to Adshel - or maybe just a couple of us could write 15 letters each using diferent names - and get it removed.

R rated chewing gum should never be advertised publicly!

# re: Signs the world has gone utterly bugfuck insane, #1,462,356

Left by BlackhawkNZ at 6/8/2011 2:53 PM
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It would be worse if the pack of gum was....

holding another pack of the same gum. o.O Shock horror.

# re: Signs the world has gone utterly bugfuck insane, #1,462,356

Left by Bearly There at 6/8/2011 3:05 PM
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There is another compelling reason why this ad MUST be taken down.

Putting aside the blatant, IN YOUR FACE sexual connotations there is an even darker subtext revealed in the small print. "Sugar free", says the packet. "But what gives the gum it's seductively sweet taste?" you may well ask.

The answer is obvious - it's flavoured with artificial sweetener. In other words, the manufacturer has surreptitiously and salaciously replaced something God-given and natural with something UNNATURAL. These evil forces - doubtless in league with Big Pharma and the Australian Sex Party - are trying to indoctrinate our children into believing that what is UNNATURAL is socially acceptable - even cool!

The subliminal message here is anti-Christian, anti-family and, worse, anti-Wendy Joy Francis.

What is the world coming to?

# re: Signs the world has gone utterly bugfuck insane, #1,462,356

Left by Linda at 6/8/2011 3:21 PM
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So you bought a packet and it looks like you've chewed some. Are you greatly changed, a professional even?

# re: Signs the world has gone utterly bugfuck insane, #1,462,356

Left by Reverend Doktor Bob at 6/8/2011 4:38 PM
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I question the sanity of anyone who opens a packet of gum, but takes the pieces from the second row, not the first. Clearly the sign of a sick, deranged, possibly psychopathic state of mind.

# re: Signs the world has gone utterly bugfuck insane, #1,462,356

Left by Jason at 6/8/2011 5:44 PM
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@Linda, Bob

luckily, the packet wasn't mine

# re: Signs the world has gone utterly bugfuck insane, #1,462,356

Left by RipleyP at 6/9/2011 10:03 AM
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The use of the term Professional implies that there must also be Amateur.

An amateur chewer… should not chew gum and perform other activities at the same times?
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