How to do it wrong on the internets

It's always a good day when someone PMs you with a threat of physical violence.

jason please dont make this personal and your right about one thing i am not the worlds best speller and some times when i type fast i miss letters and dont check maybe i should use spell check but i didnt so shoot me .

but to chastize me would be a mistake i would rather talk about the way religion is so evil and wrong not on how i should spell and hearing about flouride on a athiest group .

i dont like fighting but i play football against real men and have been taught how to box from a young age as my father was a boxing champion im not saying this to try and scare you but dont put shit on people you dont know ?
you have know idea what they are capable of doing to you i would rather forget this all happened and try and be friends but ill leave it up to you i will be fine either way .see you at next meeting hopefully to chat about religion im very easy going person and can forget what you have called me . yours in kind barney

 

But wait! We're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's recap on the message that started this all, shall we? First, a little background. On the Sydney Atheists Meetup Group, we have a mailing list. A conspiracy nut called "Riddles" turned up and posted a bunch of stuff about fluoridation. Some of us posted responses, mostly lulzy, along the lines of "OMG, precious bodily fluids" and "oooh, don't forget DiHydrogen Monoxide"

Then along comes "barney"

are u selling this product or some thing ask any dentist and they will tell u the problem with kids teeth today is they drink to much bottled water and there teeth are rotting as well as bottled water killing the enviroment . im not brainwashed or stupid and i have been drinking tap water all my life and as long as dam levels are high will continue maybe u want them to  stop vaxinations of kids to as i have never had chicken pox i cringe at this prospect .do you know the main reason for our ansesters dieing it was from tooth decay that poisened there body most before they where 35 it might not be perfect but untill anamal protection can be painted on they are now trying this in japan but i wouldnt do it yet i will stick with water i mean no disrespect to u but talking is constructive .

Hmmm. Nice. That really pushes forward the stated aims of Sydney Atheists, y'know, reasoned discourse, sensible discussion and so on. From this you can really tell that atheists are smart people, the kind of people you can have a substantive conversation with. Amirite?

My response:

Are you trolling, or do you genuinely write like that?

To which the response was brought

sorry jason im not sure what trolling is but if you mean chasing young children thats a little sick and good on you for thinking that way and as for writting in that manor i didnt know i was writting a esay just a quick comment my own thoughts on the subject if i wanted to hear about floride protection i would join a differant group maybe the authur of that should start a new group called people who sell water purification systems .

Look, I don't even know what the fuck that means

Hey you’re the one who brought up little children, barney. Here’s a hint. Look it up.

My point was this, in common language: Are you taking the piss? Because such breathtaking levels of illiteracy from someone who claims to have drunk fluoridated water all their life is not a good counter-argument to the original post.

/unsub until there’s some way of keeping out conspiracy nuts and retards

And that's where we got to before barney decided to employ the threat hammer. At this point, as I pointed out in my message, I unsub'd from the list. THere was nothing substantive going on and all I was doing was wasting my time on conspiracy nuts and illiterates. Sydney Atheists is NOT a conspiracy group, and it is NOT an adult illiteracy support group. I have better things to do

Then the private message arrived. Let's break it up, "paragraph" by "paragraph"

jason please dont make this personal and your right about one thing i am not the worlds best speller and some times when i type fast i miss letters and dont check maybe i should use spell check but i didnt so shoot me

With regard to this being personal; How the fuck could it not be? I'm criticising your messages directly. It's already personal. And yep, you're not the world's best speller. Hell, there's something in this message you're right about.

but to chastize me would be a mistake i would rather talk about the way religion is so evil and wrong not on how i should spell and hearing about flouride on a athiest group .

Sorry, no. Chastising you is not a mistake. You deserve it. I don't know how old you are, but judging by your profile, you're an adult. Hell, you're even wearing a shirt and look like you live somewhere vaguely civilised. I'd guess you actually have completed high school, and therefore I have a reasonable expectation that you can communicate in a manner appropriate to the venue. TL;DR: type like an adult.

i dont like fighting but i play football against real men and have been taught how to box from a young age as my father was a boxing champion im not saying this to try and scare you but dont put shit on people you dont know ?
you have know idea what they are capable of doing to you i would rather forget this all happened and try and be friends but ill leave it up to you i will be fine either way .see you at next meeting hopefully to chat about religion im very easy going person and can forget what you have called me . yours in kind barney

OK, this is where it gets interesting. "I don't like fighting"; Oh good. Most civilised people don't, and will only fight reluctantly and when forced. You've passed the first test of being part of society.

Oh, wait... there's a "but". There's always a "but".

First we have a mild implication that I'm not a real man, because barney plays football with "real men". Whatever, I don't rise to that bait. Then we have the implication that Barney is, like, totally alpha male, testosterone-fueled and ready for battle.

Then the qualifier "I'm not trying to scare you".

Hang on, surely you are? Otherwise why type that sentence at all?

And your father was a boxing champion, and taught you? Oh fuck, I've really screwed up here, clearly.

Don't put shit on people you don't know, you have no idea what they're capable of doing to you.

I corrected your sentence there, "barney". Hope that hasn't offended you into employing your fists-o-fucking-fury. Yes, I have an idea of what complete strangers are capable of doing to me. I've had complete strangers bring violence to the table before, it's really not the end of the world, and I'm pretty sure that if you brought violence to the table it wouldn't be significantly better or worse than any previous time. You're nothing special, "barney".

Then the kicker:

i would rather forget this all happened and try and be friends but ill leave it up to you i will be fine either way

 So after physically threatening me, "barney" wants to make up, play nice and be friends? Fuck you, "barney". You just threatened me, physically, and tried to veil it over in a completely juvenile manner, like some kind of impotent teenager, uncontrollably jealous of some other kid who just gave him a putdown in public. Fuck you. You're the one who needs to apologise here, and you need to really apologise.

I might have been the one apologising if you hadn't sent the threat. I would have sat there at the next meetup and admitted I was wrong to call you a retard. But you broke that. Retard.

And now your rant is public, and forwarded to relevant members of the meetup group. Happy?

 

TL;DR:   Barney fails

 

posted @ Tuesday, December 23, 2008 7:35 PM

 
 
 

Comments on this entry:

# re: How to do it wrong on the internets

Left by Anon at 10/10/2009 3:03 PM
Gravatar
in short. whaaat the fuck, not only his spellings but his ENTIRE ARGUMENT PREMISE is just wtf INSANE.
it scares the shit out of me that people like this are actually breeding
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