Jim'll Fix It So She Dreams Of Me

He will. Totally

It was inevitable, really, that a song named "Fix it so she dreams of me" would get prefixed with A Jimmy Saville reference, even though I didn't actually leave my heart at Papworth General.

Need chords? Then Chords you shall have

Jim'll Fix It chords came courtesy of Ukulele Hunt.

 Fix it so she dreams of me chords are here, because the blog engine can't format them reliably. DAMN YOU SUBTEXT.

Anyway, instrument list:

  • Cordoba Tenor Ukulele
  • Sanchez Soprano Ukulele
  • aNueNue Concert Banjulele
  • Fender Jazz Bass
  • Percussion by thighs, shaky eggs and smacky-together stick things
  • Vox by me

At home with the Platypus. A play in one act

Dramatis Personae
Mr Geoffrey Platypus, a platypus
Mrs Edina Platypus, his wife of three years

Act 1
Night time, Platypus Burrow. An imitation log fire flickers. Mr and Mrs P are on the imitation leather sofa. An open bottle of wine is before them, and is nearly empty. Their body language suggests a certain...friskiness
Mr P: Hey baby. You're looking hot tonight. What say we, get a... little closer [waggles eyebrows, puts on chicka bow wow record]
Mrs P: Oooh, charmer
Mr P: I'm in the mood for a little duck-billed, flat tailed action, baby. It's between June and October, and you know what that means
Mrs P: I do love it when you talk like that, and I love the way the light plays on your calcaneus spurs
Mr P: I want to run my sensitive snout through your dense brown fur
Mrs P. me too. My ovum is meroblastic for you, darling
[they retreat to the bedroom]
Mr P: Mmmmm, you like that baby?
Mrs P: Oh, yeah. I love it 
Mr P: Oh, baby I'm hot now, let's do it
Mrs P: Oh,  yeeeessss
Mr P: Get ready baby, 'cause here it comes
Mrs P: OK baby, I'm ready, let's.. YOU'RE NOT PUTTING IT IN THERE
Mr P: What? 
Mrs P: You know my rule. It ain't going in there. Not again.
Mr P: But baby, we're monotremes. We only have the one hole
Mrs P: You men always say that. You'd say anything to get me to do... that... again. Well, I'm not having it. I'm not some common whore, Geoffrey. I'm your wife.
Mr P: But baby, it's true. We're members of the order monotremata, and we have needs and urges just like anyone else. C'mon, just this once?
Mrs P: I'm not that kind of girl! If you want that.... thing [her voice is contemptuous], then maybe you should try the Echidnas down at the docks. I hear they'll do just about anything for a ten dollar note and some grubs. Sluts!!
Mr P: Awwww baby...
Mrs P: That's my final word. You'll just have to go off to the bathroom and deal with yourself. I've quite lost the mood [she rolls over, signaling and end to the conversation]
Mr P: Oh for fuck's sake.


Animals are all pricks

Storified by @anarchic_teapot. Click for the full stream.

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