So here I am sitting at home, setting up my new laptop. I'm likely to be at my desk for a while, so what better time to have a Beer Face Off?
With this aim in mind, I've acquired a six pack of James Squire Hop Thief Ale and an accompanying six pack of Little Creatures Bright Ale.
That's right, it's Fremantle versus Sydney in the steel-cage deathmatch of beer, refereed by my good self, a mildly insane alcohol-addled maniac with a nerdy streak.
Beer One: Little Creatures.
Up now, WA's finest, LC Bright Ale. It's attracftive, and I rarely get hold of a bottle. It's top fermented, filtered and very golden. I can't see the colour, of course, because I'm necking #1 out of the bottle. Very malty. Very nice. More-ish, in fact, but I'm on a schedule here. One beer down in the time it takes to whip up an ommelette, and I'm on to #2.
Beer Two: James Squire
Rumour has it the namesake was a bit of a crim himself, and in fact the bottle tells a tale of James's larcenous habits Hop Thief is the new hotness, a limited edition, short run ale with an aroma that makes you want to get stuck on in. So I will. Mmmm. Lovely. Fruity in fact. Mmmm.. took a bit longer, but then I'm surfing the web and setting up software, don't blame me.
Beer Three: Back to the Creatures
Oooh, this is nice. I've just installed a bluetooth stack which actually works, and on top of that, I've got myself a little creatures. Can life get any better than this?
Beer Four: James Is Back
These are tasting ever better. Time to put on some rice for a quick Unagi Don. The hoppy flavour is just as intense second time round, if not more so. In fact, it's bitey and hoppy, and I like it!
Beer Five: Back To The Creatures 2
Mmmm. Tasty. I can, of course, feel my technical ability draining slowly away, as I install RAS client settings for getting onto the corporate network remotely. I'm putting this one in a glass, so I can see the colour. And I'm putting the light on so I can actually see it. Very nice colour. Sorta golden glow to it. Very nice. This one tastes very smooth indeed.
Beer Six: Home James and Don't Spare The Horses
I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue is playing on the Radio4 website, and the teams are getting stuck into some operatic classics. I've blown a little beer out of my nose and it still tastes good. Incredible.
Beer Seven: Back To The Creatures 3
Is the running joke getting old yet? I've got Windows Dreamscene working, and it's making me feel unsteady. Or is it the beer? Being now over halfway through the dozen, it might be time for a status update. At the beginning, James was in the lead. Now, at the rising of the seventh beer, I'm actually thinking it's too hoppy. Unbelievable I know, but it may well be that Fremantle is moving into the lead. Can Sydney regain its position over the next few beers? If I can still type by then, we'll know.
Beer Eight: James People Play
Well, what can I say? I've found some Terrahawks clips and I'm going through some retrospective moments. Leave me and James alone to spaceyomp with our childhoods. Well, my childhood. James is yet young and has little future left.
Beer Nine: Creature Feature
Moving on to The Now Show, some major sneezes and moving my podcast directory from old laptop to new laptop. After this one there are only three beers to go. Luckily, there's also a bottle of canadian club, a bottle of tequila, and an address book full of other drunkards. Ooh-er. Creatures, in the long term, seems to be holding the lead.
Beer Ten: Oooh James.....
This beer is leading me deeper and deeper into nostalgia, culminating right now with this retrospective of 80s cartoon intros (beer sure to check the related videos in the series, you'll waste a good hour or two). There are some shockers in there, but for the most part, they give me a warm fuzzy feeling. Just like these beers.
Beer Eleven: The Creature from the Black Lagoon
My brain is being dissolved. Slolwly. Little Creatures is winning, however. I am coming to the conclusion that my new car needs to be the gadgetmobile. I have the 4x4 thing, and the sportscar thing. how can I have both? well, gadgetmobile, essentially. Creatures rocks.
Beer Twelve: James and the Giant Speech
Here it is. the culmination of this experiment. Which one of these two excellent aussie beers could possibly win? And with such a meandering methodology, how can I possibly justify the results? And what if we're attacked by Alien Galaxies From Beyond Space?
Well, in answer to question one, Creatures win. Creatures wins. I mean Creature winneth. Oh, whatever. It's a victory for Perth.
Question two? Hey, I just drank the beer, I'm qualified. and Question 3? Well, if there could be such a thing as a galaxy beyond space, we'd be donald ducked. Luckily, physics prevents such an occurrence. So bollocks to it and cheers! Buy some Little Creatures!!
Thank you for following my alcoholic descent into rubbish, I hope you enjoyed the ride. I did.
posted @ Friday, April 13, 2007 8:36 PM