A quick primer: There, Their, They're

I've noticed.

A lot of you out there on the internet are morons.

You have trouble with simple, commonly used linguistic constructs in the English language.

Many of you have jobs which pay you large amounts of money, not a penny of which you deserve. Some of you are 'management'. Others delight in the dubious job title of 'copywriter'. All of you are fuckwits; This is the reason:

You have trouble with the very simple words There, Their and They're.

It's a piece of cake, to use a rather hackneyed colloquialism, to distinguish between these three simple words.

  • There denotes location. "It's over there". "There it is". "There's a bear in there, and a chair as well", "There's a major problem with your grammar, you fucktard". 
  • Their denotes possession. "It is their problem". "Their house is on fire"."Their brains are about this big.". "Their biggest failing is their abysmally poor grasp of grammar".
  • They're is a contraction of "they are"*. "They're a bunch of idiots who can't construct a simple sentence in their native language. There's something wrong there. They're clearly as thick as pigshit."

Now, this should be sufficient explanation for anyone, but if you still have trouble, come and talk to me. I'm extremely approachable, and any sudden punches in the face for grammatical failings are purely coincidental. You fuckwits.

* The apostrophe signifies an omitted letter, in this case 'A'. Try and remember that, fuckwits.

posted @ Thursday, June 28, 2007 12:10 AM

 
 
 
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